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*Its a Death Wish*

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(From Afar)

why is that life is always so quick to knock ya down [15 Aug 2005|12:21am]
[ mood | crushed ]

i just wish once things would go my way for a whole day

i wish i got just as much as i gave

i love veda....they make me happy

(From Afar)

someday soon i hope i have a solid foundation [14 Aug 2005|02:51pm]
well i moved back in w/ my dad to finish my last semster of college considering my mom decided she was just going ot abandon me and move to st. louis..thanks

im going to try and turn this into positive...at least i ahve my own computer and cable tv

dustin will be gone to quintiles for 3 weeks..that sucks big time..i love htat boy.

classes start the 24th...lame.

(1 Sent Love Letters | From Afar)

[03 Jul 2005|01:02am]
I'm engaged

I win

I have the most perfect boyfriend ever

I love how every kiss is just like the very first one

I have found my perfect forever in him

(From Afar)

[02 May 2005|12:52pm]
i hate when something is all you have between you and its taken away.

(2 Sent Love Letters | From Afar)

[14 Apr 2005|12:05pm]
Im so ready for school to be done...its basically over June 20th and hten starts all over again Aug. 24th....HURRY UP.

(4 Sent Love Letters | From Afar)

[03 Apr 2005|02:53pm]
i really should jsut like stone myself to death bc that would get through. its funny how we JUST have a conversation about you answering the phone when i call and you dont every single time i try to call you back....
i hate school still.
but im going to have to get my shit together...starting NOW.

(1 Sent Love Letters | From Afar)

gonna blow the house down [30 Mar 2005|01:33pm]
[ mood | calm ]

so i feel really bad for my boyfriend, he lost his job today. Hopefully this well help him be a bit more responsible though and maybe he'll find something better suited for him anyways. I might tryi to work some extra hours tonight if their avaliable to help him out...i just feel bad for him..sucks that when your behind it seems like you become more behind before you get ahead but he'll get throught it jsut takes time and persistance.

its too dang windy outside but i do love the fact that it looks like its going to storm...i LOVE LOVE how it gets outside right before a thunderstorm.

so dustin has decided that at every nervous wreck show he's going to wear a bandana on his head like Carl from Earth Crisis....he's so silly.

(1 Sent Love Letters | From Afar)

[26 Mar 2005|04:42pm]
Even though im sick which sucks this has been by far the best weekend ever, and i owe it all to one amazing boy.

(From Afar)

[22 Mar 2005|03:32pm]
why is life so redundant?

(From Afar)

bling bling [18 Mar 2005|10:03am]
making some fat cash this weeknd...i love big checks.

(From Afar)

this love has taken control [17 Mar 2005|12:08pm]
[ mood | happy ]

getting ready to go home here in a bit. i really am starting to not mind the drive at all..its so worth it in hte end to see the best thing in the world..the one that thing truly makes you happy and they dont even try at all...just them as a person and his prescence makes me happy and puts me at ease and all my worries and cares go away when im with him...there's nothing he and i cant over come and w/o him...i probably would have quit.

im doing dustin's laundry for him so he has clean clothes. he wont be home tonight since he has a funeral in topeka to go to. im glad he's there bc that means he'll get to see marcus. i gotta go home here in a few and do some laundry of my own there.

i was thinking of coming ot see dustin but i just might go ahead out to the house and ask my mom in the morning how and what im supposed to do to sand my room w/ and waht not and do it myself saturday so that its arleady done so sunday i can prime my room. i really dont have a lot left to do to it..i just think my mom wants me to get it done and out of the way. which is fine...at least itll be doen now instead of later.

i cant wait til waking up and falling asleep w/ dustin is soemthing that is permanent. January.

i hope he and i get to go on another vacation this summer if he's not on tour.

im going to try and start saving for when he and i move...its not till january but id like to have some money set aside so that its not too rough in the beginning.

(From Afar)

shotgun bang [16 Mar 2005|09:13pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

so im here at dustin's hanging out since ill be unable to this weekend do to my mom (whom has no respect for me). but hopefully i get everything done to my room so that all i have to do to it is painting and that should only take a day. today i think i fell even more in love w/ dustin than i already am...im 100 percent sure that he's the one. he simply brightens and makes my day just that much better w/ anything he says to me...knowing htat he's in my life i know that ill be happy no matter what. i only hope that other people in life can have what he and i have. im considering calling into work tomorrow or maybe next friday so i can spend more time w/ my wonderful boyfriend. i cant wait for my new piercing to heal, i forgot how much healing sucks. i think people who say they dont like drama really do bc they continue to keep the situation going...oh how your immaturity shows. im happy that im going to get to graduate in december..YAY!!! it sucks that i have to go to class at 7:30 am for about 6 weeks but there are worse things in life...its only for a month and a half and it saves me a whole semester of classes so that i can get on w/ my life and live w/ dustin and be happy everyday knowing that ill get to fall asleep w/ him and wake up w/ him everyday. im bummed no hang out w/ dustin but at least it will get my mom off my back...she's just starting to go too far.

(11 Sent Love Letters | From Afar)

me and terror=hot. [10 Mar 2005|03:25pm]

i seriously love the food network.

(1 Sent Love Letters | From Afar)

[10 Mar 2005|01:19pm]
missing someone and knowing that they miss you just as much is the best feeling in the world and so is waking up next to the person you love more than anything for 7 days straight is as well.

We win!!!

(1 Sent Love Letters | From Afar)

peektures. [09 Mar 2005|02:49pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

so my spring break is not completey unfilled w/ doing some kind of work..damn you PERSONAL SELLING!!! so next friday i get to sign up for my LAST SEMESTER of classes ever....god i love the sound of that.

Hair cut i got yesterday.

To think this will be my future husband.

aww we're precious, plus he has the cutest nose ever...im jealous.

he's poor eye is still healing almost 3 weeks later.

(2 Sent Love Letters | From Afar)

spring break day #2 [08 Mar 2005|04:35pm]
[ mood | cold ]

Here's a picture of my new piercing. *for those of you who arent clever enough to figure out which one it is...its the ball on the left side of my lip...not the hoop.

got my car cleaned today...i cant believe im on spring break and there's fucking snow in the forecast...bastards.
Day #1 w/ favorite person is going super! we ate at Cici's pizza, got my lip pierced, went to the mall, and wal mart.
Tonight we're going grocery shopping/hair cuts/and car washing.

I <3 you my favorite person.

ok so seriously someone needs to tell shrout/dustin/and Andy to turn the fucking heat on its cold!!!

I wanna be like Jess and Evan so here I go:

Layer One:The Basics
Name: Lurenda Michelle Gerlt
Birthdate: November 18, 1982
Birthplace: Marshall, MO
Current Location: well i live in Blackburn, MO but for the week Im in Blue Springs, Mo
Eye Color:Brown
Hair Color:Black and Blonde
Righty or Lefty:Right
Zodiac sign:Scorpio

Layer Two: On the Inside
Your Heritage:german and cherokee indian
Your Weakness:when dustin gives me that sad face and him w/ a lip ring and desserts.
Your Fears:bugs all of them, amounting to nothing, and my education being a waste.
Your Perfect Pizza:california alfredo
Goals you'd like to achieve:have a good job, a healthy happy family and be married to the love of my life.

Layer Three: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Your most overused aim phrase: lol
Your first thoughts waking up:the things i need to get done for the day and i miss my boyfriend.
Your best physical feature: i guess my boobs..even though i think big boobs are tacky and i want small ones.
Your bedtime: depends on the day but usually 11 or 11:30

Layer Four: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke:Coke
McDonald or Burger King:neither
Single or Group Dates:single
Adidas or Nike:adidas
Lipton Iced Tea or Nestea:lipton iced tea
Chocolate or Vanilla:chocolate
Cappucino or Coffee:cappucino

Layer Five: Do You?
Smoke:fuck no.
Cuss:yes too much
Sing:only in the car
Take a Shower everyday:nope
Have a crush(es):on my boyfriend
Like(d) high school:yeah
Want to get married:yes
Believe in yourself:most of the time
Get Motion Sickness:yes
Think your attractive:eh ive seen much better
Think your a health nut:i go in phases
Like Thunderstorms:yes
Play an instrument:in high school

Layer Six: In the past few months have you?
Drank alcohol:nope
Made Out: yes
Gone on a date:valentines day
Gone to the mall:yesterday
Eat entire box of Oreos: never
Eaten sushi:no
Been on stage:yeah
Been dumped:no
Gone skating:no
Gone skinny dipping:no
Dyed your hair:yes
Stolen anything:no
Lied:to my work

Layer Seven:Ever....
Played a game that required removal of clothing:yes
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated:yes
Been called a tease:yes
Gotten beaten up:no

Layer Eight: Getting Older
Age you hope to be married:24 or 25
Numbers and Names of Children:2 and im indecisive
Describe your entire dream wedding
outside on a warm day....it will be perfect and big
How you want to die:peacefully in my sleep
What do you want to be when you grow up:successful
What country would you most like to visit:greece

Layer Nine: In a girl/guy?
Best eye color: blue or brown
Best Hair color:brown and/or blonde
Short or Long Hair:short
Height:5'10" or taller
Best first date location:dinner and a movie and making out in the parking lot ;)

Layer Ten: The Numbers
Number of people I could trust my life with:1
Number of cds I own:lots
Number of piercings:since i dont count people's ears as piercings, 4
Number of tattoos:3
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper:10 or so it was a lot in hs
Number of scars on my body:3 or 4
Number of things in my past I regret:1 not saviing my money better

(From Afar)

[07 Mar 2005|04:07pm]
so i parted my hair on the other side today..holy shit im a rebel.

getting my lip pierced again today.

i definity need to make more htan 375 every two weeks...

i <3 my boyfriend

i NEED a hair cut..bad

i look super cute today.be jealous.

(From Afar)

[06 Mar 2005|08:24pm]
i hate being bored...this happens often...i need something to keep my busy so i dont have time to focus on my boredom. my options arent really taht great either: laundry, sleep, or this thing.

i <3 dustin.

i think i want to get a xanga or a lj that i just write for me in....not a public type one...maybe ill start it sometime.

(From Afar)

warm weather=warm fuzzy feelings. [04 Mar 2005|01:45pm]
[ mood | excited ]

spring break starts at 3pm yay.
a WHOLE week w/ my most favorite person.
i <3 the girlfriends...all of them.
im getting used to hectic schedule
school is starting to look up.
i love that dustin likes to play pretend w/ me and we pretend we're married...hehehe
i need some stuff to make my hair stick out and be super teased so i can be super scene.
i need to lose some weight
i now share my clothes w/ my mom and she says its bc i have cuter clothes...
i have the most wonderful and amazing boyfriend in the world..his parents totally fornicated souley for my benefit bc it was in the cosmos that he was to be mine.
i love the weather today...definite drive w/ the windows down weather..i cant wait for spring
work is eh...people annoy me there but they would annoy me no matter where i worked.
im so excited to spend a whole week w/ dustin...my favorite thing in the world is being w/ him and knowing htat i get to do that for a whole 9 days is exceptional.
i rule i have 7 days off of work
i love my car its the coolest car EVER.
i find the Esoteric amazing and Amber is going to be a future drinking buddy...i really do like htat girl.

(1 Sent Love Letters | From Afar)

back to me [24 Feb 2005|03:43pm]
I went to see how Dustin was doing last night...poor thing was so not feeling well but i took care of him as best as i could...i love you more than anything.

you=better than anything ever.

i did my homework last night while dustin played final fantasy and it worked out quite well since i dont have to try and get it done today or tonight its already done..yay.

so i came home and did the dishes, and vacuumed, and did laundry and took care of my insurance and kind of started planning my financial situation for the summer so i can sort of know what to expect.so far so good. i wont have tons of money by no means but enough to do what i want w/ and still pay my bills.

Even thought we went to bed at like 9:45 last night and we didnt get up till 9:45 this morning..i still feel like i need a nap haha...damn it why am i tired all the time.

so dustin and i talked and i realized that i really did let everything bother me no matter what it was and that he never intended for things to be the way that i took them and that we both can be buttholes sometimes but everything is super wonderful and great again and i really did become a negative person there for a while and that wasnt who i am and im not going to be that person anymore.

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